Reminiscing Opinions: An Apology

A few days ago, I found out about the fiasco that the Johnny Depp and Amber Heard abuse allegation had become. 

Lately, I’ve lost interest in so many tv series and films that I would’ve binged before. But I have come to understand the pattern of my personality, and what is and isn’t worth my time. I don’t know what sparked so much hatred for Fantastic Beasts when it did, when I wrote it… But I was just so angry at people actually believing that their opinion doesn’t matter when it comes to these things. “Yeah, but I’m one person… What difference am I going to make in this situation. My thoughts and opinions are not going to affect that person.” That does not mean I wanted people to flood their social media with opinions about or siding with anybody of thing, no. That’s a different thing all together, and which is your personal choice. I meant to encourage just giving yourself that importance, to consider your opinion valid in a one-to-one conversation with someone.

I’m sorry to break it down to you but anyone selling you this? That one person cannot make a difference? Is selling crap to you. Schindler, Arunachalam Muruganantham, your own mothers, who have birthed you into this world,  are examples of what one person can do. A cascade of retweets and sharing is what leads to stuff becoming viral. You’re a part of an eternal chain that circles things in motion over and over again. Count yourself in, for good measure.

I went through many thoughts before writing this but honestly? There’s nothing better than just simply writing everything down while the voice in my head smiles and dictates, calmly… sincerely.

When I found out that Amber Heard had orchestrated abuse when she put allegations on Depp that became so publicly available everywhere to fuel fire? I felt only guilt, and the tender dissolving feeling of disappointment in myself.

According to news reports that came in, there was proof that Depp has 80 surveillance videos, pictures and 17 witnesses who can publicly, and in court, account for the abuse Depp suffered on her hands. Specifically, that she broke the tip of his middle finger, which had to be surgically reattached, which she said Depp  inflicting on himself. That she also threw a vodka bottle at him, among a few that I have found out.

In 2016, her lawyers had put out statements that confirmed that she “suffered through years of physical and psychological abuse” by Depp.

In a 2018 Washington Post interview, when the #MeToo movement was gaining momentum, she admitted that she had found herself a victim of domestic abuse. One of the very specific statements she used were “I became a public figure representing domestic abuse, and I felt the full force of our culture’s wrath for women who speak out.” From what I have read, she never really openly named Depp anywhere except the court, but her lawyers did. 

I remember, clearly, so many instances where it was propagated that women don’t do all this for attention because!! Well… look at Heard! It’s only now that she’s got a significant role with, her film then, Aquaman. 

I don’t know if they were misguided as of yet, but her statements do seem dubious and there is definite scope for research into them. 

But one thing I want to say is that me finding this out? It’s information I’ve found from sources that I have trusted and consulted, but I don’t want to make assumptions again like I did with Johnny Depp. The probability of Heard’s allegations being true makes a strong case because I’ve been checking her Instagram account a lot frequently and she has been deleting many comments that point out anything related to the allegations against her. Which makes her look guilty in a way. These sources I have consulted confirm that the allegations against Depp were a ploy to further Heard’s career at the time (in 2016).

But even then, I’ve grown to be calm about things more recently and I don’t want anger to rule my words when I feel deeply about something. So, I am still waiting for official statements, before making any final statements. I will write so many more things I want to say when there are official statements so I can speak freely without the guilt that follows, after you unknowingly convey misconstrued information. 

My apology to Depp, however, remains as sincere and deep-felt as ever. I’m sorry for not having read more, and of being instigated by things I read online and my anger at just… abuse, and violence.  

I understand that events that happen out of my line of actually knowing anything substantial, not being involved in the event, are not for me to judge until I have official information from the parties directly involved. Presumptions hurt, and you would know that if you’ve ever been part of school, college and just the human environment. I promise to maintain composure, and analyse official information before making my definitive opinions public. I’m sorry to my readers for not having done that before. I owe you dedicated honesty and I promise to deliver from now onwards. 

I will do better in the future and express my views only when I’m sure the perpetuators in that situation are genuinely accountable for what they have done, while talking about things and instances related to abuse and domestic violence.